Volkswagen Hippie Van
Reaching That Fork in the Road
Today, I’m thoroughly enjoying the first Saturday Nico has had off in about a year or so. Yes…we’ve somehow fallen back into a life of being ‘wage slaves’! –Not what we had planned when we moved to the island. Somewhere, we took a wrong turn, and…here we are. Stuck in the mud…again!
So we’re once again standing at a fork in the road that will lead us to ‘the rest of our lives’. –I rewind to 2010; back when we sold everything (save a few personal items that went to storage), bought our 71 VW Camper Van ‘Peniki’, and stepped out of the rat race.
Those were the times we cherish, to this day! We wonder how did we get burdened down again, with bills, too much stuff. Even though we no longer keep a storage, and live in less than 200 sq.ft of space. I know we live small by most folks’ need for ‘necessities’. I still feel we are ‘trapped’ in an endless…useless cycle of monotony.
On one hand, we have to earn a living. The earnings from which go to endless expenses that get us nowhere. The time I spend throughout the day is for Baby, teaching her…guiding her, cooking breakfast…lunch…dinner, cleaning, and a ton of piddle-y things that seemingly go unnoticed…for the most part. Time with Baby and Hubby, is the best part of my day. Though it isn’t always time well-enough spent.
My meaning of this, you ask? Well, often times we’ll be side by side with someone, in the same room, the same dwelling, but we are not engaged with them. We are all doing our own thing. –Like right now…this very moment: I sit writing, Baby is watching cartoons, and Nico is putting his time-in piddling around outside. We are not together, but we are still so close.
Which brings me back to our vagabond days in Peniki. We were so close in many ways–watching the world passing by at 55 mph, as we sat gazing (holding hands…Nico and I)…talking about everything we wanted to do and the things we had already done, the miles we’d covered. I’d look back at our babyyounger then, and she’d be sleeping or looking around at everything that needed to be discovered. –And, all was right with where we were, where we were headed.
Back then, if anyone had asked if I’d like to be anywhere else, I’d have truthfully, and quickly, answered “No. This is where I’ve always wanted to be! –On the road to discovery, bumping down the highway from place to place, seeing new faces, and experiencing new adventures. My family by my side.”
These days, if someone were to ask the same question, I would undoubtedly have my answer as-to which fork in the road we should take. Getting there, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter. The secret of life is that one thing, something different for everyone (from City Slickers). It’s so simple, yet…it is so very difficult (to paraphrase a passage in Caroline Myss’ Anatomy of the Spirit). The fork we should choose in our road, I know, will be a very bumpy one. The journey begins today.
Many Blessings & .V..
Boycotting the Power Grid
Our power was shut off today–just like that! With the flip of a switch (or whatever they do to shut off power) everything went quiet. Baby was watching Veggietales on VHS (Yes…! We still watch those. : )P ) and all-of-a-sudden, a quiet click…and silence. She looked at me, and I just thought for a moment we had overloaded the breaker. Then I realized, we were only running one little T.V. and the fridge. That wouldn’t cause a shut down.
Then…I remembered that pink paper that had arrived in the mail about a week or so ago; the one that said we needed to pay our bill by such-and-such date, or ZAP! –We’d be cut off. Ooops! Guess I forgot to note that little ‘pink slip’. So…I located the oh-so-colorful notice, and…sure-enough, the last day to pay was…(YIKES) yesterday! ‘Guess that might have had something to do with our lack of power. : /
In an instant, I was on the phone with a ‘robot customer service rep’; giving away most of the money we had left. I was told our power would be back on between “…two hours time and midnight tonight.” Oh well…! Those are the breaks when you forget to pay the power piper.
Which brings me back to the instant after our power went off. Most folks would feel quite defeated, upset, perhaps even come unglued. Me…? I felt a calmness, a peaceful feeling of quiet and comfort at the absence of that hum of being on the grid of power. The feeling I had was akin to having a huge boulder (the burden of bills) being lifted off of my shoulders. I sighed a relief in that very moment.
Explaining the sudden interruption of cartoons to my little-one took some persuading, but soon…we were outside, playing in the yard…rummaging around in Peniki. I was wishing we were still living and traveling in our old hippie van. I love that van…more than I’ve ever loved any material object! I’m not sure why, other than she has saved us from homelessness several times. She has hosted many afternoons of laughter, even a few tears, and reading in the quiet comforts of her fold down bed; the dim light powered by Mother Nature, and solar power (off the grid!).
I thought today, after the power shut down, about just how vulnerable we all are! How we rely so completely on the grid of power, the water department, the gas company…and any others we succumb to on a monthly basis. It makes me miss our vagabond days in Peniki, that much more. I know it’s the wave of the future, going solar and such. For a while now, I’ve felt there would be a paradigm shift towards a freer alternative to working to pay bills…just to work to pay bills…just to work, to pay bills. It’s an endless cycle. We all get snared.
Even still, I can’t stop thinking about how I responded to the cutting off of our power today. It was a reality check, if-you-will. –An insight into true freedom…and independence from working just to pay for stuff we really weren’t meant to have in the first place. We’ve all gone soft! And been forced to rely on something, for the sake of the vicious cycle.
Like the Native Americans, or natives of any land, we weren’t meant to live on the grid, get our pre-packaged food from the stores, pay others to build our homes…caravans…whatever abode we choose. We, as able-bodied humans, were given all the necessary skills to nurture, so we…ourselves, could rely on we…ourselves.
Though we are now backed into a corner, most of us. Not only do we need gasoline to fuel our vehicles, but we also buy so many things that are manmade of artificial ingredients (plastic, instead of paper, driving instead of riding a bike (which is also made of plastics and such), or better-yet, going back to the horse and caravan (buggie) days. I realize how much I alone, have contributed to the endless cycle of spinning our wheels to go nowhere but to work…to pay bills we were never really meant to have.
So, in a nutshell: I’m thinking even more now than ever before, about getting off the grid. Instead of paying a monthly electric bill, have solar and wind power…along with sufficient batteries for power. –Relying on natural burning fuel (propane canisters) for heat, cooking, and hot water. –Using candles, oil lamps, and battery lighting to light our place after dark.
I know…! Not quite off the grid, because we’d still be relying on plastics, artificial fuels and such. Still, I know which way I’d like to go with being independent of utilities companies and bills. I’m quite sure, in our day and age, it wouldn’t be allowed. As the Good Book says, Man will dominate man to his own injury (to paraphrase).
As for me, I’ll take the ‘rough road’ any day. I somehow feel, the path less taken is much more worth the effort and opposition I am likely to face along the way. And I’ll take the peace and quiet of off-grid living, and the time (which no amount of money can buy back) I will have with my family…instead of working endless hours–a lifetime– to pay for the ‘so called’ easy life. Nah..! Not for me. And I know I’m not alone on this. The world is coming around. I see it coming–soon…soon.
Beach Bum Scribblings
Have Hippie Van…Will Travel
G Town — Week 1 In Photos
Crossing Texas In A VW Campervan
I guess when you have no where to be at any given time, you lose all track of the hours, days, weeks…months. That’s pretty much how we had been until we drove back across the Texas state line. Even if we did enjoy our drive on the biways of Tejas, we realized with each mile we came closer to home, that our journey would soon be ending and we’d once again be back in the rat-race.
Some years back, I finally realized that me and the rat race…don’t mix. People are always in a hurry, they cut you off; even flip you off at times, and they really have no good reason to race to the finish line. We’ll all have our day at the finish line. I’m in no hurry to get there. Which is why our old girl Peniki is the perfect mode of transportation for our little family.
I swear, that old VW can get around town just fine, but she has to go at her own speed. Being a classic Volkswagen Westfalia, I’d like to think our van has earned seniority in mileage. Either way, she got us back home…safe and sound.
So many miles we had traveled, and by the end of the day…we were pulling into Fort Worth. I could hardly wait to see my kids, even though I was already missing the travel…and the next destination; knowing we’d no longer be spending our nights in Peniki. I was sad for that.
It wasn’t long after our return that we settled back into the old routine, but our journey was still fresh on our minds. We knew we would have to go again, but we didn’t know quite when.
Here we are, almost 2 years later, and the wanderlust is swelling up inside of us both, though we realize we have responsibilities and Baby is now older with a mind of her own. It was so easy when she was in her playpen. We could set up camp while she played safely in her space.
Now, she wanders everywhere and is like a little octopus with too many hands in too many things. But, she comes by that honestly. Nico and I are both exploring spirits with curious minds as well. And there is still so much more to explore.
*Live The Life You Love*
Family Road Trip — Mississippi through Louisiana to Texas
Family Road Trip
— Free Camping at Rest Stops —
It’s funny how scenes, places, conversations, and miles-traveled can all turn into one big blur after a full day on the road. Leaving Natchez Trace Parkway and Rocky Springs Campground was the highlight of this particular stretch for home. Booking it as fast as our old VW Van could travel; topping speeds of 60 mph at times, we made it across the Mississippi state line to Louisiana in one jaunt, and many miles and hours later we found ourselves once again on Texas soil…just barely.
After surrendering my former belief that folks just shouldn’t sleep at Travel Stops or Rest Stops, we bunkered down for the night in our camper van; exhausted and glad to be so close to home. Even if we hadn’t wanted to leave the Florida Keys, the one’s we’d left behind back home insured our return. One thing we know, looking back on it all, is that we knew the place to where we were returning…was surely not where we’d stay.
*Let your heart roam, let your spirit be…like the child you used to see*
Camping Along The Natchez Trace Parkway
Key West Road Trip — The Journey Home
‘Pulled out of St. Joseph’s Peninsula at around 1:30 or so, headed West on Scenic 98 to 71 North. We’re planning to visit the Southern Tip of Georgia before we head home on El Camino 84 to Texas 287. That’s the plan anyway.
We ended up at a rest stop off of Interstate Highway 65 at 1 AM in the morning. Ugh! ‘Drove all night, but we didn’t want to pay the $$$ on a room for just a few hours of sleep. So…after stopping numerous times at various motels–and trekking out to the ONLY (what seemed like it) National Forest in Alabama, we settle for a nice…much safer, rest stop. It was the best choice, and one we should’ve made much earlier in the evening.
*What I Learned* Sleeping at rest stops isn’t half as bad as I suspected. Guess it pays to listen to Nico sometimes; as much as I hate to admit it. lol
The Beaches of St. Joe Peninsula
~ VIDEO ~
Travels in a Volkswagen Westfalia: New Braunfels Road Trip
September 8th 2010:
Nico is 41 today, and, so far, his birthday is starting out better than mine did yesterday. No matter, I guess my day ended pretty well. So…today we plan on walking to Market Center first, then to the River Walk to find some excitement: restaurants, waterfalls, cool refreshment; filming all the while with our Zoom recorder I bought off of Ebay. It’s great for video, though we’re not sure about recording our music on it just yet.
We finally found the tourist-loop of the River Walk and decided to hang out at The Hard Rock Cafe for a bit; Nico’s choice. I filmed a short clip of our time there. About an hour…’two beers for Nico…one beer for me’ later, we headed back to the hotel to ready for our cook-out at Chris’s later that night. I wish we could have strolled along the river for a while longer. I’ve always loved the river walk in SA, minus the bad smells in some spots. I swear—one strip under one of the bridges smelled like raw sewage. Not good! Oh well, you take the good with the bad. Right?
So…there we were, using the GPS…again, for directions to Chris’s. This time it actually took us to the right destination. I say… “It’s about time!” After several wrong turns and one wrong address, we were there: hungry, thirsty, and ready to relax. And so…we did!
One meal of barbecue chicken, with all the fixin’s, and a few drinks later, the guys broke out the guitars and we all succumbed to our passion: music. Nico and Chris played for a while and I listened, enjoying every minute of seeing two old friends catch up; picking up right where they’d seemed to left off. Then…I chimed in; singing a song that Nico and I wrote a few years back. It was a lot of fun. But, soon, it was time to head back to our hotel-home.
We knew we had another busy day ahead of us, since we’d already decided to head back to the river walk for a longer, more leisurely tour. We would also be filming again for a video I’ve been planning for one of our songs. I am also working my way towards documenting our travels in the Westy, though I find juggling the baby while navigating on our road trips a full time job in and of itself; never mind trying to enter filming into that equation. I guess time will tell.
If only we could have known what surprise we’d find when we arrived back at our room. I guess we should have known better than to leave Blanca, our little schnauzer, all alone in the room. But, at the time, we really had no choice; since she was ‘on her monthly’…in diapers…and couldn’t go along with us because Chris’s dogs are male and so on…and so forth. Either way, we thought we were doing the right thing at the time, and felt Blanca would be fine since she’d been alright with it earlier that day when we’d gone to the river walk. But…she wasn’t, not this time around. She’d torn through the bathroom door, which was brand new…though made only of paperboard, and also nibbled on the corner of the other door. Needless to say, we’d be paying for the damages.
*What I Learned By This Little ‘Event*:
-Leave the dog at the pet-sitters
-Get your dog ‘fixed’ asap—don’t put it off ‘til you have to diaper the little brat
-It is better (in case you can’t leave your pet behind or at a sitters) to leave your little K9 in your van-home, where she/he is familiar with the surroundings, than to shell-out travel money for damages to hotel rooms. Ugh!!!
-Pay for the damages and become a very welcomed, and trusted, guest at your fave hotel
September 7th 2010:
Just as we feared, the weather made a turn for the worst this morning. Happy Birthday to me! Instead of just a drizzle, the rain is pouring and we have to evacuate the river…before we’ve even had a chance to set up our drive-away tent. ‘Satisfaction of knowing how it will serve us in our travels eludes me still. Dammit!
We talked to the campground host before we left; his name is Marty…he loves our van. He told us of how his parents traveled with him in their VW Van, back when they moved from South Carolina to Texas. It makes us a lot of fast-friends; this old Westy. She’s a definite ice-breaker when it comes to conversation with strangers and making friends. Still, we had to evacuate the river because, according to Marty, the camp-site we’d chosen would soon be under water. So…we packed up…again, and headed out. To where, we had no idea!
The wind was gusting so swiftly we could barely keep Peniki on the road, and the rain made visibility less than safe, so we decided to stop a while…in a Taco Cabana parking lot, of all places. Hence the reason one should always pack a lunch and plenty of food. It doesn’t hurt to make a plan B when it comes to your destination as well. On any trip, long or short, Mother Nature is the real driver and we are only passengers. Anyone who knows Texas weather knows how flaky it is at any-given time of year.
So…there we were, contemplating plan B. A few stormy hours later, we headed south to San Antonio. The river walk was our next stop. Nico phoned his best friend to let him know we were in town, and we all made plans for drinks later that evening. The welcoming sign of our favorite ‘pet-friendly’ hotel, Motel 6, was a grand site after such a day. The trendy contemporary décor of our remodeled room was the icing on the cake, a hot shower…even more of a treat. We commenced to cleaning ourselves up for our soon-to-arrive guest. It had been too many years since Nico had seen his oldest friend Chris, though they still keep in touch on a regular basis.
The weather cooperated enough for us all to take a stroll to the river walk, about a mile or so away. We never did find the touristy part of the Riverwalk, so we gave up…from exhaustion, and headed back to the hotel. Following the GPS was the last thing we should’ve done, since it took us so far out of the way that we ended up in a ‘not so safe’ part of SA. No blame on anyone, but next time we went out touring, we carried a map and our compass. So much for technology!
What did we learn from all of this…?
*Carry a good map of the city and a compass. A flashlight at night helps immensely too.
*Take plenty of extra cash, just in case your thrifty camping adventure has to be traded for an uptown excursion.
*Carry some mace in a strange city; especially if you’re a woman.
*A shoulder tote or backpack always helps if you have to bring water and other items, such as baby necessities.
September 6th 2010:
‘Woke up late today, even though we swore we’d get up and get going down the road like early birds. No matter—we are like the tortoise: slow as hell. Still, we managed to make it out of Dallas before noon-ish. We’d been spending some time with my oldest daughter Mia, there in the West End of Big D.
It had been a very enjoyable week for me, Mia, and Nixi. ‘Not for Nico: he’d been taking the six o’clock Dart Rail to the TRE train to Fort Worth, then The T bus to work; an all day journey that landed him back in Dallas no sooner than 9 PM each night. I hated him being gone for the entire day…before sunrise ‘til post-sunset. But we made it through the week…I spent some very valuable time with my Mia…and all systems were pointing to ‘go’ for our longest road-trip in Peniki to-date.
A bit nervous and excited all in one, we looked forward to a new adventure in our Westy. Although we did a bit better in our preparations this time, our plans to head out early were steadily curbed. But what can one expect from a couple of turtles. After all, it is quite a task driving to storage for our camping gear, loading or unloading, gassing-up, ice…food…drinks…traffic until we are out of the city; it just seems to be one thing after another. And, before we know it, we’ve spent half the day and almost $200 before we ever get going. It sucks…yes. But…it is the path we’ve chosen…for now. I remain hopeful that we will find the place to set some roots. Soon, perhaps…? One never really knows.
So…there we were, finally losing the hub-bub…rat-race…congestion of the city, finally reaching the peacefulness of the path less traveled; a state highway after Labor Day, headed for New Braunfels. My 42nd birthday was the next day, Nico’s 41st birthday would be the day after mine, and he had planned a river-camping trip for our big days. I was excited because we were actually going to be able to set up our drive-away tent…more than two months after purchasing it on Ebay. I’d been anticipating how much room we’d add to our tiny van-quarters. Turns out…I was right! But I’ll get to that eventually…in a future post.
A long…slow time later—around 2 AM the next morning—we finally arrived at River Road on the Guadalupe River; a place Nico had visited more than 20 years prior and now wanted to share with me and little Nixi…Blanca too. So, there we were; exhausted…road-weary, and it began to drizzle just before we fell in for some much-needed rest. We could only hope that the next sunrise would bring a more enjoyable day on our first lengthy road trip. A sunny, cloudless day for my birthday would be a welcoming surprise…no doubt. If only that had happened…it would have been femmetastique! But…as most of us know, life usually doesn’t turn out that way.
What did I learn from all of this?
*Do all prep-work (storage, packing the van, food/drink purchases, gassing up, etc) the day before you’re set to leave.
*Research, research, research the weather before you set your destination.
*If you’re slow-going (Peniki topped speeds of around 55 on level ground and 45 up hill), divide a trip of 300 or more miles into two trips of 150 miles…coming or going.
*Buy Ice before you get out of the city, or you’ll be paying double…more than likely.
*Pack a weeks’ worth (no more, due to weight) of canned goods, dry goods, fruits and veggies; things you don’t have to keep cold…just in case.
*Make sandwiches before-hand and pack in a cold pack or cooler, so you won’t spend money on unhealthy fast-food.
*Pack plenty of water…no matter what.
*If you carry a portable potty, make sure it is very clean…first, then if there is room in your van or travel vehicle (and privacy), keep it inside where you can use it in case of emergencies. **Not recommended for all travelers…believe me!**
*Try not to pack too much inside the van/RV/camper cabin so you can move around and be comfortable…and safe on the road.
*Always carry tools and a spare tire. **We had a flat in the middle of ‘nowhere’ on the way back.**
*Relax…have fun…meet new people, but, don’t drink too much. Too much of a good thing is usually…not.
Travels: A VW Westy and Hippies at Heart
- Another week, a few more parts, quite a bit of dough later…and we’re still getting ready to hit the road. No one said it would be easy, and believe me, it hasn’t been. We just keep doing what feels right, all the signs are pointing in the direction we’re steadily working towards. A little voice inside me keeps saying just to “Keep on keeping on! Nothing in life worth having is ever easy.”, so I just take my own advice, suck it all in…and try harder to reach my goal.
- The Westy is getting closer to road-ready; one brake/caliper/line installed…one more to go. Then, Hubby will check the two front brakes to make sure no servicing is needed there. Ugh! I feel like a cavewoman these days. All I can say is “Ugh!”. *chuckle* In reality, we’ve come a long way with our little campmobile in a short month-and-a-half (Has it really been that long?), but I remain hopeful that we will be heading down the road in no time. *crossing fingers…toes…legs…arms* I feel like a child who’s anticipating the last day of school, but it keeps getting pushed back. I feel like a kid who’s been waiting for my mom or dad to come play a while with me, but they keep finding better things to do with their time; yet again, I have to wait.
- I know there is really no one at fault here, any more than my own self, for buying a 39 year-old classic vehicle that had been sitting for years before we came along and rescued her. She (Peniki) is a true classic, she deserved the name plate stating such status. The sad thing is…she is just like me: she doesn’t have alot of mileage, and I suspect she’s never been any place too far, but she desperately needs to wander and see the creations of God…of nature…of man…of the world.
- I feel like a caged lion at times; like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life — I feel like if I don’t get away…I’ll just bust! So…here I sit, writing this blog post, hoping that someone…anyone, might feel compelled to read my words and comment their words of understanding and perhaps share some feelings of the same sort.
- TGIF! We’ll see what the weekend brings. God Bless and Happy Travels to one and all! : )
Okay…so we’re feeling a little ‘stuck in the mud’ these days, dealing with the layover-limbo kind of waiting game. What are we waiting for…you ask? Well, we are still waiting on parts to make the VW Westy road-ready.
First it was one thing…the permanent plates for the van, then the title, then…we discovered we’d need to replace a few parts to get the Westy inspected. Ugh!! Now, we are waiting on parts to fix the brakes on our ‘Yes we do still love her’ campmobile. I’ve received notification that our parts are on the way. A glimmer of hope is still in my eyes.
So now I sit writing this post in my blog that I barely have time to keep up with lately. Even though we are waiting…we are very busy getting ready for the road trip. I’ve also been researching work, places to go, things to do, so on and so forth.
Where we are headed first is anyone’s guess; and believe me, everyone keeps asking. “Where are ya’ll? Where are you going? You still in town?” Exhausting…completely! I know they all mean well, or perhaps they are just being a bit ‘nosy’. I’m sure I could guess, but I won’t say.
Either way, and even after some drama on our first outing–mean-spirited RV park snobs looking down their noses at our lifestyle, at us, at our a-little-rough-around-the-edges camper van. None of it–they, rather– just doesn’t matter to us.
We see our baby growing so fast and so strong…she is so happy; we know we are doing the right thing…bringing her up in a modest, low-key lifestyle. We see that she doesn’t need all of the stuff that people tend to lavish on their children, simply trying to make up for the time they do not spend; too busy working, shopping, whatever!
Hubby and I might not be agreeable to many ‘conventional robots-wage slaves’ but we are spending the most valuable commodity ever available on our baby. We are spending time. Priceless!
June 11th 2010:
So…it’s been almost a whole month since we went and picked up our 1971 VW Westfalia Campmobile Van, and I still cannot believe she is ours! Anyone who knows me, knows how long I’ve wanted one of these classic, none-other-like-them-in-the-world camper vans.
I ‘m in love with my car! Is that a little odd? I don’t think so in the least. You see…? She–Peniki–as we have named her–is our passport outta the rat race. Sorry to say, we are waiting on a few loose ends before we can hit the road. But, all in all, it’s been a great adjustment time; getting used to cohabitation in a camper van as opposed to a traditional house, like we had been living in for the past several years.
‘Glad to say, we have taken that first BIG step out of the conventional lifestyle (the one everyone thinks they are ‘supposed’ to live) and already sold everything we own…cars and all. Now, we are left with each other (our MOST valuable…no, priceless possessions ever), our Super Cool Hippie Van, the belongings we’ll need on the road, and a half-full storage unit of the stuff we had to keep. ‘Always a few strands of ‘red tape’ we can’t cut through…no matter how hard we try.
So…we are waiting…and waiting…and waiting for the loose ends to be knotted, then…just like that breeze that’s calling, we’ll be chuggin down the road. A couple (and a half) of Nomads…we are! I’m lovin’ every minute of it. Who was it who said that nothing in life worth having is ever easy? I wish I could remember. But, no matter really. This adventure, so far, has been an exhausting undertaking–definitely ‘not’ for the faint-of-heart. I sure am glad that I inherited my hard-headed ways from my daddy. Any time anyone has ever told me something might be impossible, or a bad idea, well…that’s the very thing I’d do. My parents always told me that curiosity killed the cat. I sure am glad I’m not feline. : )
There’ll be more to come…
Our adventure has just begun!
So…I never thought I’d be able to say this so soon, but…”We Found It!!!” “We found the Westy for Us!”. Now, we just gotta save a bit more, and the puppy is ours! YAYA!!
Forty-Something Faux pas
Just when I thought I could see the finish line, I’m right back in the gate. Thus are the thoughts of a forty-something pregnant woman. With one adult child and one teenage child, I had been busy as a bee planning a wonderful and carefree year for two love-birds: me and my husband Nico.
Imagine my shock and his surprise when I suspected something wasn’t quite right. The nausea had me worried because it’s one of the signs of heart trouble in women. Never in a million years did I actually think it could be ‘morning sickness’; though it did pass through my mind a time or two. Several dry months later–no swimming the red sea–I felt compelled to mention it to hubby. He was ecstatic, elated, you name it! He loved the idea of a little ‘us’ growing inside of me; his never having had children and being almost 40.
Me…? I was on a different end of the spectrum. I had been through years and years of single-mom-syndrome. Needless to say, it hadn’t been easy for me or my kids. So, I guess with the whole thought-association process thing, I was happy…and bummed at the same time. I would never be so selfish as to ‘not’ want our baby; I love any little life my husband and I create. But, it’s hard to explain really, I was just seeing some light at the end of the tunnel of rearing two kids…mostly alone with no help, and pouring dollar after dollar of money I never seemed to have, into countless wants and needs. I guess I was gearing up for some ‘me’ time…or just getting used to the easy, low-key life my husband and I have gotten used to as a couple.
It has taken some adjusting of my thoughts to realize that this time…I won’t be going it alone; my husband will be a wonderful father, of that I am sure. And I’ve begun to realize that just because we are bringing a little life into the world, I know I am much more prepared now than I ever was then. I feel blessed more than shocked and dismayed these days. I’ve already felt movement (not sure whether or not it was gas), and my baby-clock has already started to kick in, getting up at least once a night to pee…visiting the fridge in the middle of the night. I have to laugh at how funny life can be.
As for the travelling we’d planned on doing: that’s where the VW Westy we plan to buy comes into the picture. I am a lucky woman to have a mechanically inclined man whose profession is auto paint & body. Because when we get our Camper Van, however old and shabby it might be, we plan on turning it into a shiny-new hippie traveler; complete with a ‘baby on board’ sticker plastered right across the back window.
I can hardly wait!